Been spending a lot of time lately on the idea of the ego, the mechanics, causes, and properties of it (sort of funny since it is subconsciously always there.  But more consciously I mean).  This thing we have labeled the ego.  Among all the trash that inhibits our mind, the greatest limiter, and grand trash creator seems to be a regular self consciousness or awareness in either adding to, or subtracting from this image of self.  Defending it, refining it, etc.

So...we've all probably been on the road of adding to the self and tired to some degree with this preoccupation.  Identifications with this, that or the other to give us a sense of substance, value, or meaning.

Just one idea on the ego that may or may not be of some use to you all.  Something that can tame the reflexiveness of consciousness toward this image.  Basic dignity.  Something that can never be taken from us.  we can be shamed by others or even shame ourselves, but it's always there.  Especially if we are striving toward maintaining that dignity rather than careflessly or selfishly living.  We may stumble, fumble or fall and never measure up in the eyes of some....We may be criticized by others or ourselves, scorned, treated unfairly, treated with disdain, miss an appointment, or miss a step, but we always have our basic dignity.  Always.  It's our inherent right and noone can take it from us but ourselves.  We are all very, very precious and valuable...and that's it.  Period..  The mistake that's made is that society simply cannot honor this well enough to nurture this understanding.  From the day we are born. 

So I wonder if we sometimes get too caught up in the misteps to relax.  To forgive our inherent imperfects and limitations. To allow this vigilant awareness of the concern toward the self to abate.  And also in the misteps of others rather than seeing the negative qualities or misteps, but to instead honor the basic dignity inherent in us all.  This may be one thought to help (along with other approaches) to just stop the charade and honor the intrinsic nature and beauty in us all that requires no defense and no explanation.

the defense rests ;-)


On the other hand...and simultaneously

I believe critique is invaluable.  In spreading joy and love and affection, we often choose to not ADD, correct, or question.  Often it really does have NOTHING to do with being right, which a common idea.  It has to do with the assembly of understanding and wisdom.

Clearly, then, we should both love and honor basic dignity, as a regular and consistent presense, while also engaging in meaningful dialogue.  These ARE two powerful opposing forces.

So it is tricky

 

by seeing it

all and every single standard in my heart.  I fight, I resist, and I grow through the strength, verility of my standards.

specifically: truth, love, justice.

but...like the robot, I struggle eternally to define these and against the currents of resistance and my own inherent weakness.

I get it all the time now.  something so profound sweeps and envelops me that i get goosy bumps.   a very, very interesting phenomenon.  sort of a tickle of our largest organ.  i learned somewhere recently, ok maybe 10 years ago, the skin is the largest organ.  duh me...didn't know it was an organ.

what's up with that.

it's just so exhilerating.  the feelings that sweep me and make my flesh pop like that.

lovely, lovely, lovely

tingly loving embrace

ok, figured out my goof.  If you're in some need for some pounding rhythm and eclectic instrumentals from the next generation, this is has always been a nice ticket for me. 

For me, it's not just about the struggle for guys in the race or competition from a woman (frued had something to say on that), it's about the struggle in general and competition in general.  I think it's more about a love lost, on the surface, but I've always enjoyed looking at it as struggle in life in general--DESPITE my recent breakup from a woman I was, and still am, deeply in love with.

My intention here was more about the struggles of life, and there really is more than the surface.  Intentionally or not, these young dudes are VERY clever.  Lots of cool social satire and commentary too.  You, of course, can read it any way you like cause it's been a nugget for me. 

There are oh so many layers anyhow, right?

In any event, I hope this song brings you as much joy as it has always brought me.  I think these guys are instrumentally and lyrically very talented.  Very catchy and fresh.  But...I'm not simon from american idol (or disaster).  I've always enjoyed driving beats, but never recklessly in errant lashings out, but with some grace and style as well.  These guys pull that off for me.

ps...if you're into that sort of thing, pump up the volume on this one.  check your base and make sure it's set right.  killer stuff loud (the live version was real nice. these guys are crisp.  you can find the live version on youtube easily too)

I was in touch with my rage yesterday.  I think only cause it's just there.  i think with many of us it's always there, we just tend to fall in line and bury it.  You know with bumping our heads against ignorance, we will become frustated.  And there comes the moral outrage or righteous indignation.  But we bury that stuff.  Who wants to hear about all that rage against the machine.  nicey nice and getting along. 

confrontation is cool too.  The base word, to confront.  Confrontation is a bit reckless.  Confronting is a more mature response.  hard to manage though, given how powerful these emotions can be.

When we fall in line, back in line, we sacrifice our truth though.  And sometimes we lose that truth.  neatly tucked away for that time.  That battle we pick.

anyhow, this shadow of mine I accept.  i realized this yesterday.  that i was denying my outrage.  I want to be civilzed, you know.

Polite society and being in line pushes this.  But...we can't ever, if we are committed to change, lose site with our outrage. 

It's a compassionate in origins, right?  Not for ourselves, but for the selves outside of yourselves.

Not so outraged today.  but...i can own this part of myself and not be ashamed of my outrage

It's a wonderful refuge to have a universe.  an expanding one.  In times of strife, if this universe is strong, it is my refuge.

Community is a refuge.  A wonderful refuge.  But we also walk 'alone'.  alone in quotes because with our universe in tact, we are never alone, but stabaly situated inside of a safety net.  This is called "Buddha mind" or Buddha dharma, dharma, Tao, or 'natural' law.  the details aren't important cause I think I get the point.  Some would also call this God.  I'm not so sure though we must be 'touched' through the physical or immaterial senses when in need, through the trials and through the tribulations though to always be a part of it.  The touching of the spirit, mind, and soul is something we do ordinarily as a matter and expression of our expanding universe.

the refuge of what has been called, though it really needs no label, Buddha-Dharma, or dharma, is a refuge of our understanding.  Our understanding of the order beneath and among the chaos.  Maya.  Who casts her spell and draws us from our refuge.

The expanding universe is in proper conduct.   In living well. In seeking truth and living truth.  In good and loving speech.  In right action and right thought.  Though Buddhism itself doesn't lay claim to this territory.  It's always there for every seeker to find.

The refuge is in our understanding of maya.  So that when she approaches, we can withstand her approaches.  So that we are aware of the traps and ignorance and false 'gods', false 'temples' and false authorities.  When we are challenged with query, with logic, with reason, with insult, injury and intimidation, we stand in recognition and let it pass without severe reaction.  So that our refuge remains our sanctuary.  Always open to correction, with an open and humble mind and spirit, happily making those changes in the pursuit of I higher goal and a higher purpose, but no longer persuaded by maya to the degree enough to destroy our temple. 

The refuge is in the understanding of a process.  Not necessarily any one's in particular.  better a collected and integrated and synethicized one from all perspectives I believe.  From a fertile, active, sharp, and open mind and soul.  The method is the path.  The path that generates the universe.

The refuge is in the totality of all this.  Where a true meaning and comfort comes.   Where doubt is overshadowed by faith and the security of this meaning and order.  In being so firmly on this path, in the stream of the Tao, where the rate of expansion makes a promise to a future of unyielding mystery, wealth, comfort and meaning.  In other words, that life is truly bountiful and beautiful, all in all, despite the hiccups, the misunderstandings, the struggles the quarrels, and the loss.

I had a hiccup today and found refuge

Can we really just dispense with the word 'authority' itself.  That may be a nice and easy way to begin dismanteling the forces of authority.  So that we collectively begin to fashion ourselves as better receivers and processors of information rather than relying on the world outside of ourselves.  Can we somehow poke so many holes in every institution that it looks like the swiss cheese that all institutions are?  So that we can begin to realize that it is we ourselves that must do the hard work of fashioning reality and that there are no sources outside of ourselves competent to translate reality for us perfectly and reliably?  Even worse, many who turn to others for guidance are the easiest prey as they have no discerning capacities.  Why dont' we teach that?  A perfect lesson.   How NOT to follow.  Disagree with me please i say to my students.  Find something, anything to disagree with!!!!  Challenge me.  Please!!  I will love you for it (ok, I love em anyway)

So that we learn this lesson well and so that we then wake up and question EVERY thing EVERY minute and develop that great discerning consciousess that actually learns how to think?

So that this thinking consciuosness produces and produces and produces new information all the time and then becomes alive with its new found power and new found authority and the ever emerging world flowing from the font of INNER growing capacity.

Sure when we are young, we needed trusted adults to guide us.  But even they have to be warned of how full of **** we adults can be too.  But...I feel the institutions themselves are doing a good enough job of destroying their own authority.  Through their narrowness, or through their greed, and through their ignorance.  The kids are picking up on this.

Anyhow, just felt like attacking authority this fine morning.  Right now, i can't think of a better target. (btw and fyi, I'm not saying all those in positions of authority are authoritarian, rigid, robotic, just that the vast majority are un 'enlightenend' 'despots' ruling by decree by fiat, or whim, or otherwise narrowly contrived nonsense--and even doneso with a dash of superiority to add insult to the original injury)

Ken Wilber, an enlightened author, has said, "we have no BLOODY idea how or why people develop".  And I hope I'm not misquoting or mischaracterizing his intention.  well...I can think of one very big way to help development.  Take off the freegin blinders we put on people which encapsulates them inside a hall of mirrors by multiple and conflicting authority figures who threaten them into submission or con them into the belief of their superiority by destroying the fascade of their authority.  DECONSTRUCT the idea of authority and authors.  At least in the society we have now which is NOT dharmic in anyway, but much more maya or adharmic.  At least give them the tools to see WHO is better to listen to and who is not. 

We have a case now, where out and out charletons are running the show.  THAT is a barrier to development and a lock on the conventional mind that restricts the birth of an actual mind and soul.

generally, in the ever deepening richness, mystery, and miracle of the deeper 'material' of life itself.  Beauty, to me, is an order in things--meaning or 'harmony' the result.  This I find attractive and evokotive.  Randomness creates no meaning, has no meaning and elicits little.  Sometimes, patterns emerge in 'randomness' and there i find beauty.  In the order, the symmetry, in the purer interrelationships to be found all throughout nature.  Especially in the nature found through universal abstract interrelationships.

This makes me think of similar positive evokations.  We have beauty.  We have wonder. We have humor.  Does beauty evoke love?  So that there is a natural connection between the sensing of order and love? (at least part of the 'love' equation?).  Humor comes from an unexpected juxtoposition in order.  isn't wonder the faint touching of order or the attempt at assembling or locating order? (btw, I find beauty in the search for meaning too)

Anyhow, I love musing on our very common, very basic underlying natures to understand, to connect, to relate them.  Those combinations appear to last so very, very long and add to the overall density and breadth of beauty that then comes in every moment that I am not in the way.  In that way, increasing the very order I mentioned in my response that I find so attractive and even breathtaking as it almost appears to be a part of the mind of a cosmic order.

I also find my children's giggles and smiles beautiful (just FYI).

I also find beauty in discovery.  I guess that's a 'suprise'.  And to me, in my mind, that is something 'new'.  And 'newness' or freshness is also beautiful.

Working this out further, beauty looks like something we experience from order and from freshness, or discovery in a broad and regular sense,  and in the search for freshness, and from the surface expressions of all that interactive interrelated abstraction in which a special or dear or pleasing meaning is experienced.  Order is more the stable part and freshness the discovery of something new.  progress.  being and becoming.

So...now that i feel I have a better grasp of what i feel beauty is, I could probably have a better answer toward the specifics.  And THAT is very beautiful. 

Our minds are such great catalysts to spirit